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Nehemiah

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Who are you Living for?
I want to first give God the praise for keeping me safe throughout my days of exposing myself to the world. I can't even imagine the type of man I would be if my parents never met Christ before my birth, or even if they never got saved in this awesome & wonderful church.
From the beginning of my life I have felt a close tie to Christ and somehow had the fear of God in me. I wouldn't cuss, wouldn't look at girls, but I still had a carnal, insecure mind, and selfish spirit. Throughout middle school I would get teased for how I looked. If one took a good look at me they would see my broken glasses, (fixed with superglue by the way, because tape just didn't work) crooked teeth, and yet outgoing personality that in a sense made me more visible. I'm glad though that I didn't curl up in a corner somewhere to hide, and that I didn't let how I looked change who I was.  However, there would be some times where I would get down on myself so hard that I would ask God, "Why?!" I was highly insecure of how I looked, which made me want to be someone I wasn't. This carried into High School.
I willingly lived my life to please the world. I wanted to be known, so I hung around all the jocks, which were the popular kids in my school. I was with the cool crowd, yeah, but I was also with the same people that were telling the dirty jokes and sharing their fantastic story of what happened at the house party last saturday. The bible says, " Bad company currupts good morals." (my dad really ingrained that scripture in me) Well out of rebelion that's really what I let myself be a part of.  If God hadn't struck me and opened my eyes to see my sin, it would've been me eventually telling a story of how I got "smashed" and met up with a girl. 
It's simple: sin makes you stupid! 
I was stupid, yeah, I never went too deep, but I count that a blessing from God, because I don't know if it was my parent's prayers or what, but I shouldn't be who i am today. God is good. My senior year is when I would say I really got that the "heavy revy." (revelation) Durig the summer before my senior year, I don't remember how, or why, but the question 'who am I living for?' popped in my head. I pondered that and honestly confessed to God that I was living for myself. Yeah I would go to church two days a week, but it's still just two days, there's five more days to live and frankly I gave them to the devil. I had no conviction about witnessing to my hell-bound friends and took no stnace for my christianity. I was lukewarm and was not acting like the christian (christ-follower) we are all created to be. In turn, I fought the devil and devoted my life in the beginning of my senior year to Christ and to my friends, meaning I was going to let them hear about God. I was going to stand up for my beliefs and say no to their jokes, no to their perversion, and especially no their party lives. I really felt on fire and focused, to my amazement, senior year was the best year i have ever had!
God moved through me, if you're living a life to please society, I'm sorry you are sadly mistaken, but man's approval won't last for long and the road leads to emptiness and depression. Let God show you through his eyes who you are and let him move in your heart to give you a purpose and intention. I'm so happy to have met Bridgette and to have kept myself for her. She is so amazing and has such a heart for people. God is good; so good! I can't tell you what a roller coaster of a ride it has been getting to know eachother, but the end result as you've witnessed; A couple with a desire to serve God, a couple madly in love and best friends making a commitment to deal with eachother and love eachother forever. I know, that I know, that I know, that Bridgette is the wife I've prayed for and with her totally different testimony we will take a nation together for Jesus!
Thank You Jesus for answered prayers!

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